230 - Darren

My best mate Darren

Thinks the Queen ain't really dead

She's shacked up in a council house

And lives on buttered bread

My best mate Darren

Says my wi-fi gave him AIDS

He wears it as a trophy

He wants all the accolades

My best mate Darren

Thinks elephants are fake

He says they are not real

Just some big mice on the make

My best mate Darren

Says there's no such thing as rain

He says it's all a cover-up

And I've got water on the brain

My best mate Darren

Says aliens are real

They're running guns in Chippenham

From a large black Popemobile

My best mate Darren

Will not go out and get pissed

The thing is, so he tells me

He does not really exist