039 - Amazon

Dearest Amazon store

I don’t want to go to war

But if you can’t calm your urges

To ruin my product searches

I think we just might

Have to get into a fight

When I want to buy a battery

It really isn’t flattery

To say “We have these as well”

Cos, whilst I get the need to sell

It’s really such a shame

When two things look the same

Confused and confuddled

I got the two things muddled

And I didn’t exactly rejoice

When presented with the choice

I bought the wrong one

And thought the job was done

So I awaited my delivery

From a van with your livery

I unwrapped the packet

From its protective jacket

To find myself gawping

At the wrong bloody thing

My appliance isn’t designed

To take the wrong kind

Of this power cell

And I can’t compel

To get it to work

Now I feel like a jerk

So Amazon please

Don’t be a tease

When I search for a C one thirty seven

I don’t want a B two eleven

Then next time I hunt

Don’t be … so annoying

* * *

This poem appears in the book World’s Bestest Poetry Volume One, available from the Shop!