030 - Dancing

Don’t care what you pay me

You won’t find me prancing

On that silly old show

Strictly Come Dancing

Already look like a fool

Don’t want to make it worse

Think I should just stick

To writing this verse

Never been too fond

Of jiggling about

It feels totally silly

Of that there’s no doubt

Didn’t dance at my wedding

So won’t dance on the telly

Don’t think people deserve

To see my wobbling belly

Went to a disco

One evening at school

Just ended up clapping

Felt like a tool

Invited to a night club

On one New Year’s Eve

By the time midnight came

Just wanted to leave

Very self conscious

Don’t want to share

My bodily movements

Too self aware

So to anyone who asks

No, I won’t be found

On your Saturday TV

Wait, you’re offering a million pounds?

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This poem appears in the book World’s Bestest Poetry Volume One, available from the Shop!