203 - Upselling

I’m in a hurry

Hello Clive

Just the petrol please

I’m on pump number five

That’s very good

But before you pay

Would you like

Some other things today?

I’m in a rush

I’d rather not

I just want to go

It’s somewhat hot

But we have chocolate

And chewing gum

And medicine

For a sore bum

No thank you Clive

I don’t need these

Can I just buy

The petrol please?

Are you sure?

Just the gasoline?

Wouldn’t you like something

To clean your windscreen?

No it’s fine

I need to go

Just the petrol please

What do I owe?

We’ve got sandwiches

And bottles of drink

Air fresheners

Won’t you have a think?

For the last time

Just the petrol please

Do you have

Some kind of brain disease?

Some crunchy chicken?

A loaf of bread?

There’s nothing wrong

With my head

You want a fight?

I’m more than able

I’ll tie you up

With this charging cable

That’s fifty pounds

You’re very rude

I can’t believe

The ingratitude

To be honest Clive

I don’t give a fuck

Now serve this guy

He’s got a truck

Well goodbye madam

No need to shriek

And we’ll do this again

In about a week

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From a Facebook challenge by Gary GCoyote.

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This poem appears in the book World’s Bestest Poetry Volume Two, available from the Shop!